A time and place for sharing

When we share anything about ourselves with others, we actually are sharing ourselves with them. We let them in and exchange far more than we understand. If you love quantum mechanics like I do, you probably have a pretty good idea of what this exchange possibly involves: both are affected in ways that are not very well understood.

Sharing and letting people in really is quite a delicate matter. Have you ever felt that sharing with others made you feel more confused, misunderstood and alone? I felt that a lot in my life, but being an extrovert I never tried to simply keep to myself until after my conversion. Since then, I have learned to let people in rarely and very selectively – and this has brought me so much peace.

I have also experienced a more powerful ability to discern and make good decisions after I limited sharing and letting people in. God is always guiding me through love, I just need to be ready to listen. Not to mention he really is the only one that is in the rightful position to judge me – and yet he doesn’t, he loves and teaches me in kind, loving ways.

A time and place for sharing protects you and strengthens you. It makes you develop a better understanding of yourself, your surroundings and then puts you in the perfect position to set your boundaries. These boundaries help you heal, because they allow you to save your energy to invest it in growth as opposed to investing it in an exchange with others that might not edify you:

Matthew 7:6 “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”

It’s not that we, people, are always pigs. But we are all full of flaws and often lack the balance to share with each other in edifying ways.

Thus we’re empowered to choose a time and place for sharing so that doesn’t tear us to pieces. When we learn when and where is good to share and let people in, our exchanges become more peaceful, compassionate and foster love, kindness and mutual growth.

faith god love spirituality

Judging vs. Awareness

I believe the term “judging” is misused in our times. The term is often associated directly with a sentence (condemnation), but a lot of times what is considered “judging” or “judgmental” is simply awareness.

There is nothing wrong with being aware that someone’s actions or character makes him/her bad company for us. But it is important to leave it at that. If we cross the line and start wishing that person would be taught a lesson, then that’s definitely judging – and really none of us is in a good position to judge (and condemn) anyone. There is one passage from the Bible that was probably the hardest for me to face in my own life:

Matthew 7:1-2 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Although I knew I was mostly just aware of how people’s behavior hurt me as well as others, it took me years to really face the fact I often crossed the line and expected those people to be taught a lesson. That’s often our response to hurt and frustration. And it’s also the very reason why hurt and frustration never go away.

Forgiving and genuinely loving others in a spiritual, fraternal way, as Jesus teaches us, is what’s healed me from that horrible and neverending cycle of judging others. I also owe it to my conversion, because knowing that God loves me in a way I will never be loved by anyone else creates the strength in me to share that wonderful love with others – by loving and forgiving them. Always.

Once again, loving and liking are very different states of consciousness though, so if you feel that you can’t love everyone, I’d recommend checking out my article on the difference between the two right here: We can love everyone, but liking is a different story.