Categories
god love

Why our intentions can build and destroy at the same time

Acts of kindness have a genuine impact on the needy, but the intention is what will either build or destroy the people behind them. And that’s why it is important to know why.

God has called us to do his will with joy. If our intention is not out of love for one another, which is how God wants us to show our love for him, then there is no truth in it. This means that even when our acts of kindness build other people, they will do absolutely nothing good to us if the intention isn’t right.

There are a few common motivators for acts of kindness in the world, with pity, guilt and loneliness ranking high among them. But we’re not called to give because we feel bad for what others don’t have. And we are definitely not called to give as a way to boost our character.

We’re called, first and foremost, to love. Giving comes naturally when we love one another. And when we give with joy, out of love, we build each other. Only with God operating in us can we do what is genuinely good: his will.

Categories
faith love

Our mouths speak of what our hearts are full of

Our mouths speak of what our hearts are full of. Allow yourself to be filled with love and your words will come out gentle and gracious.

Let only loving, gracious words come out of your mouth everyday.

When we use harsh words, that is not love and will only sting others and poison ourselves.

Loving words are gentle – they build us up and give grace to those who hear us.

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Categories
god love

How are you? (Really)

Do you find yourself always concealing how you actually are when others ask because you’ve given up on being supported or understood?

It is no secret that our times are hard on those who display anything less than excitement about their lives. A true dictatorship of happiness.

But while we should ineed make an effort to protect ourselves and not throw our pearls to the pigs, it is also important to be honest about our struggles and not paint our lives with amazing colors when there’s mostly darkness.

Just be careful to share only with people who you already know have a deep sensitivity and a genuine interest in supporting your well being.

And if you find yourself without anyone to open up with, remember that God is there for you. And if you surrender and deposit your full confidence in him, he will certainly lead you to find others that will be able to support you at difficult times.

Supporting others who are struggling edifies and strengthens us even when we feel like we’re the ones in need of support. This is part of the many wonders of our existence.

So the question isn’t just for you, but also for others around you.

If you read this and feel like getting in touch, feel free to e-mail me at balanceisfun@gmail.com – I’m always happy to connect & help!

Categories
love spirituality

Rebuilding bridges broken by gossip

A few years back, I started working at a new place and had the distinct impression that everyone was nice. Indeed they were all nice – but only to me! 

A couple of years later, I started hearing stories about what was really happening in the backstage. Suddenly the place went from being peaceful to being conflictive due to those stories being unveiled and passed on and on… until tensions were strengthened. Gossip ruled.

You might argue that it was important for me to know who those people really were. But I beg to disagree. Those people were nice to me. That was enough for me to know.

Sadly we have this tendency to want to expose and punish others once we find out about their “evildoings”. But that doesn’t change who they are. Only they can change who they are. Also the expose + punish attitude lacks compassion. I personally prefer a different approach: I protect myself and try to interact with those people only in ways that I find edifying.

You would be surprised at how much people dedicate themselves to doing good to you if you treat them with kindness. And, who knows, they might just love the feel of kindness and eventually change into a much better version of themselves. 

Categories
love

A time and place for sharing

When we share anything about ourselves with others, we actually are sharing ourselves with them. We let them in and exchange far more than we understand. If you love quantum mechanics like I do, you probably have a pretty good idea of what this exchange possibly involves: both are affected in ways that are not very well understood.

Sharing and letting people in really is quite a delicate matter. Have you ever felt that sharing with others made you feel more confused, misunderstood and alone? I felt that a lot in my life, but being an extrovert I never tried to simply keep to myself until after my conversion. Since then, I have learned to let people in rarely and very selectively – and this has brought me so much peace.

I have also experienced a more powerful ability to discern and make good decisions after I limited sharing and letting people in. God is always guiding me through love, I just need to be ready to listen. Not to mention he really is the only one that is in the rightful position to judge me – and yet he doesn’t, he loves and teaches me in kind, loving ways.

A time and place for sharing protects you and strengthens you. It makes you develop a better understanding of yourself, your surroundings and then puts you in the perfect position to set your boundaries. These boundaries help you heal, because they allow you to save your energy to invest it in growth as opposed to investing it in an exchange with others that might not edify you:

Matthew 7:6 “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”

It’s not that we, people, are always pigs. But we are all full of flaws and often lack the balance to share with each other in edifying ways.

Thus we’re empowered to choose a time and place for sharing so that doesn’t tear us to pieces. When we learn when and where is good to share and let people in, our exchanges become more peaceful, compassionate and foster love, kindness and mutual growth.

Categories
love spirituality

Politically correct is a terrible, political idea that we can only overcome with genuine kindness.

I am full of flaws, so the word “correct” could never apply to me – I am not correct and least politically correct.

Instead of writing about this trendy idea, I will instead share an article from a non-religious Christian, Caio Fabio, who has nailed each and every aspect of why being politically correct is a trendy, but terrible idea – and really just political:

Politically correct is a diabolical thing

Categories
love

Mocking hurts. Loving empowers.

Do you think you are justified to mock people that you, or the public opinion, consider “bad”? Think again. There is certainly no fault in being cautious or staying well-informed about other people’s actions and behavior that might be harmful to others, but mocking them definitely doesn’t put you in a much better position than those “bad” people that you are aiming at:

Psalm 1: “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, 2 but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night. “

The truth is that it feels so infinitely better to not mock anyone. To evoke compassion for each and every person around us. And to forgive them. Yes, we can still dislike people’s actions, but it is extremely important to save our energy and invest it in forgiveness. 

I find it increasingly difficult to hear mockery of any type. The reason why is because I think we’re all susceptible to it – and it genuinely hurts both to be the one mocking and the one being mocked. It’s a way of inflicting pain in one another that we don’t fully acknowledge until we see concrete damage done. 

I don’t wish to hurt anyone, even though I realize I still do even without wanting to. And I don’t wish to be hurt either, even though I am not immune to it. So how do I stop that? Simple: by stopping the vicious cycle, by not sitting in the company of mockerers. 

Let’s not be the ones starting the mockery. And let’s not be the ones passing it on. Infuse your intellect with love and you’ll see how much easier it becomes.

Corinthians 1 13-1: “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”